Naruto: Trapped in the Closet
by Dei's Artistic Angel
Summary: This is a parody of R.Kelly's 'Trapped in the Closet' with the Naruto characters.
1. Cast

**I do not own Naruto or Trapped in the Closet**

**Cast**

**Sylvester**-Shikamaru

**Cathy A.K.A Mary**- Ino

**Rufus-** Sasuke

**Chuck**- Neji

**James(Police Officer)**- Kiba

**Gwendolyn-**Temari


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

_ Seven o'clock in the morning  
And the rays from the sun wakes me  
I'm stretchin' and yawnin'  
In a bed that don't belong to me  
And a voice yells, "Good morning, darlin", from the bathroom  
Then she comes out and kisses me  
And to my surprise, she ain't you_

_Now I've got this dumb look on my face  
Like, what have I done?  
How could I be so stupid to be have laid here til the morning sun?  
Must of lost the track of time  
Oh, what was on my mind?  
From the club, went to her home  
Didn't plan to stay that long_

_Here I am, quickly tryin' to put on my clothes  
Searching for my car keys  
Tryin' to get on up out the door  
Then she streched her hands in front of it  
Said, "You can't go this way"  
Looked at her, like she was crazy  
Said, "Woman move out my way"  
Said, "I got a wife at home"  
She said, "Please don't go out there"  
"Lady, I've got to get home"  
She said, her husband was comin' up the stairs_

_"Shh, shh, quiet  
Hurry up and get in the closet"  
She said, "Don't you make a sound  
Or some shit is going down"  
I said, "Why don't I just go out the window?"  
"Yes, except for one thing, we on the 5th floor"  
"Shit think, shit think, shit quick, put me in the closet"  
And now I'm in this darkest closet, tryin' to figure out  
Just how I'm gonna get my crazy ass up out this house_

_Then he walks in and yells, "I'm home"  
She says, "Honey, I'm in the room"  
He walks in there with a smile on his face  
Sayin', "Honey, I've been missin' you"  
She hops all over him  
And says, "I've cooked and ran your bath water"  
I'm tellin' you now, this girl's so good that she deserves an Oscar_

_Throws her in the bed  
And start to snatchin' her clothes off  
I'm in the closet, like man, what the fuck is going on?  
You're not gonna believe it  
But things get deeper as the story goes on  
Next thing you know, a call comes through on my cell phone  
I tried my best to quickly put it on vibrate  
But from the way he act, I could tell it was too late  
He hopped up and said, "There's a mystery going on  
And I'm gonna solve it"  
And I'm like, "God please, don't let this man open this closet"_

_He walks in the bathroom_  
_ And looks behind the door_  
_ She says, "Baby, come back to bed"_  
_ He says, "Bitch, say no more"_  
_ He pulls back the shower curtain_  
_ While she's biting her nails_  
_ Then he walks back to the room_  
_ Right now, I'm sweating like hell_  
_ Checks under the bed_  
_ Then under the dresser_  
_ He looks at the closet_  
_ I pull out my Beretta_  
_ He walks up to the closet_  
_ He comes up to the closet_  
_ Now he's at the closet_  
_ Now he's opening the closet..._

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	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

_ Well...  
Now he's staring at me like  
As if he was starin' in a mirror  
She yells honey let me explain  
He says you don't have to go no further  
I can clearly see what's goin' on  
Behind my back, in my bed, in my home  
Then I said wait a minute now hold on  
I said mister we can work this out  
She said honey don't lose control  
Tried to get him to calm down  
He said ho I should've known  
That you would go and do some bogus shit up in my house  
But the Christian in me gave you the benefit of the doubt  
I said we need to resolve this  
Then he stepped to me, I'm like whoa  
There's a reason I'm in this closet  
He says, yeah like what, are you talkin' clothes  
I met this girl at the Hokage's club  
And she told me she didn't have a man  
Then he said man please,  
I'd kill you if you didn't have that gun in ya hand  
And I said but yo chick chose me  
He said don't give me that mack shit please  
His phone goes off and then things get a little more interesting  
He steps a little closer  
I point my gun and says I'm not the one you after  
He says somethin' I bet you didn't know my man  
Did she tell you that I was a pastor  
I said well good that's betta right  
Why can't we handle this Christian- like  
And I started to put the gun down  
'Til I saw his face still had a frown  
She started cryin', sayin' baby I'm sorry  
Then he said baby not as sorry as you're gonna be  
I started inchin' out  
He says no I want you to see this  
Said I gotta get out this house  
He said not 'til I reveal my secret  
I'm like what is goin' on inside his head  
Then he takes his phone and calls somebody up and says  
Hello, Baby, turn the car around  
Listen I just need for you to get right back here now (Click)  
He looks at me and says well since we're all comin' out the closet  
I'm not about to be the only one that's broken hearted  
She said what do you mean  
And he said just wait and see  
I said somebody betta talk to me  
And then his phone rang  
He picks up and somebody says sweetheart I'm downstairs  
And he's like I'll buzz you up  
I'm on the fifth floor, hurry take the stairs  
And I'm like who is this mystery lady that you're talking to  
He says in time you both will know the shockin' truth  
Baby this is something I been wanting to get off my chest for a long, long time  
Then I said, "Bitch, I'mma shoot you both if you don't say what's on ya mind  
He said wait I hear somebody comin' up the stairs  
And I'm lookin' at the door  
He says I think you betta sit down in the chair  
I says I'm gonna count to four  
1, he says mister wait  
2, she says please don't shoot  
3, he says don't shoot me  
4, she screams  
Then a knock at the door, the guns in my hands  
He opens the door, I can't believe - it's a man_**  
**


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three  
**

_ Well, here we are. The four of us...  
In total shock... Me and her.  
I closed my mouth and swallowed spit,  
And I'm thinking to myself, "This is some deep shit!"  
And I said "So you're gonna tell me he's the one he's been talking to?"  
He says, "Yes", I say, "No", he says, "Yes", I say, "No", he says, "It's the truth!"_

_I said, "All of you all ass is crazy, let me up out this door,  
Because this is way more than I bargained for"  
And then she says, "Wait, I'm sure we can all fix this"  
Then I said, "I'm late, plus I ain't gotta damn thing to do with this!"  
But then she said, "Wouldn't you just like to know how it all began?"  
Then I thought to myself, and said, 'Quick, you got three minutes'  
Then it got real quiet, I said, "Somebody start talking"_

_She said, "My God, Sasuke! I've got just one question,  
how could you do something like this? I'm so hurt!"  
He looked at her and said, "Bitch please, you've got your nerves  
With all your club hoppin', lyin', saying you was shoppin'.  
And now here you are in our home, and you're callin' me wrong."_

_She said, "Okay, you busted me! And that much I agree, you caught me cheating!  
But this is a little extreme!"_

_He said, "You are my wife sleeping behind my back.  
And now I come home and you got him in the closet, how extreme is that?!"  
And she said, "But she's a he!"  
And he said, "Please, you can't judge me"  
She said, "Sasuke this is crazy!"  
And I said, "Stop arguing!  
I did not stay here to hear you chew each other out,  
So get to the point, or I swear I'm out!"_

_"Excuse me, please, but I think I can explain what's going on in here.  
My name is Neji and I been knowing Sasuke about a year,  
At midnight creeping around with him has been a living hell, sneaking in and out of hotels..."  
I said, "Brother, spare the details!"  
Then Sasuke said, "Neji, please! Don't say nothing else!"  
Then she screams, "Sasuke you son of a bitch,"  
He says, "Ino, go to hell!"  
I said, "I thought you said your name was Teri, that what you said at the party.  
Man this is getting scary I'm gonna shoot somebody!"  
Then Sasuke start yelling and screaming saying, "Ino, this is all your fault!"  
She throws a pillow at him and says, "You were creeping too, the only difference is you didn't get caught!" __Neji__ screamed out, "We're in love!"  
Ino says, "Love my ass!"  
Sasuke said they're getting married then I shoot one in the air!_

_I said, "Not another one of you sons of bitches say a word!  
Cause all this shit I'm goin through is unheard!"  
I grabbed my cellular  
I said, "This is so wrong,"  
I call up my home,  
And a man picks up the phone phone phone phone...  
_


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

_ Now I'm dashing home  
Doing 85  
Swerving lane to lane  
Wit fire in my eyes  
I got a million thoughts  
Going through my mind  
I'm thinking about what imma do and who I'm gonna do it to when I get home  
How could I have been so blind  
And then I look in my rear view  
I cannot believe this  
(Whoo whoo whoo)  
Damn, here comes a police man  
He drove right up on me and flashed his light  
Then I pulled over without thinking twice  
He hopped out the car and walked over to me  
And said license and registration please  
I looked up at him and said  
Officer, is there something wrong  
He said no, except you were doin' 85 in a 60 mile zone  
Then I said officer  
Let me explain please  
Ya see the truth of the matter is  
Is that I have an emergency  
He said no excuses  
And no exception  
He flicks his cigarette and then gives me the ticket  
Said have a nice day and walked away  
I said yeah right and drove away  
Then I turned my radio on  
And did 70 all the way home  
I pulled up in the driveway  
Hopped out and slammed the car door  
Then go in through the back  
Bust up in the house and she screaming  
Whats all that for  
Then I'm like woman I called this house  
And a man picked up my phone  
Then she said calm down  
Did you forget  
My brother Gaara came home  
Oh...  
And thats all I could say was oh  
Wit a stupid look on my face  
Said I forgot he came home today  
And she said that's okay  
Because honey I understand  
She said you don't have to explain  
Then I took her by the hand  
I kissed her and then we went to the room  
Then I turned some music on  
Apologized one more time  
Then went down and start getting it on  
And she started biting her lip  
Grabbing me and making noise  
Now we making love and she's my ear whispering  
It's all yours  
I said I love you  
And she said I love ya, too  
Then a tear fell up out my eye  
Then I called her my sunshine  
And then she looked at me  
And said baby go deeper please  
And thats when I start going crazy  
Like I was trying to give her a baby  
The room feel like its spinning  
We keep turning and turning  
As if we were in a whirlwind  
The way our toes are curling  
The next thing ya know, she starts going real wild  
And starts screaming my name  
Then I said baby, we must slow down  
Before I bust a vessel in my brain  
And she said please no don't stop  
And I said I caught a cramp  
And she said please keep on going  
I said my leg is about to crack  
Then she cries out  
Oh my goodness, I'm about to climax  
And I said cool  
Climax  
Just let go of my leg  
She says you're the perfect lover  
I said I cant go no further  
Then I flip back the cover  
Oh my God, a rubber..._**  
**


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

_ And now, I'm like  
Well, well, well  
What the fuck is this  
A condom in my bed  
Ya better start talkin, bitch  
'Fore I take a match and  
Burn this muthafucka down  
I said you better start talkin  
And start talkin right god damn now  
Then she said baby  
I'm so speechless  
Then I said my baby  
You gone be breathless  
If ya dont start talkin quick  
Woman, I'm gone have a fit  
You dont know what ya fuckin wit  
Girl ya better cut the bull shit  
Now its obvious somebody has been all up in my home  
In my bed, and plus I smell cigarettes  
Now I'm sniffin and lookin around  
Suspicious like someone's here  
Then I looked in her eyes and in her eyes  
There was so much fear  
Pull out my gun said is he still here  
She shook her head and said naw  
I'm checkin behind every door  
She cried out he left right after you called  
I said what the fuck was you thinkin  
You thought that I wouldnt find this out  
Then I said you must be crazy or on crack to have somebody off up in my muthafuckin house  
She hopped up and said thats enough  
She said I cant take no more  
And then she said you made your point  
But now its time to even the score  
She said I know all about last night  
And where you went when you left the club  
Said thats right, bitch I was there  
Wit this guy in the back of the club  
I said I thought you was wit yo girls  
She said I thought you was wit yo guys  
She said you was at that bitch house  
And dont even try to act suprised  
Said bae, she said shut up  
Dont you say a word  
It aint nothin you can say  
That I aint already heard  
Then I said woman, dont you try to turn it all around  
Cause the fact still remains that someone else was in my house  
Then she said you're right about that  
Somethin did go down, but I dont have to turn it around  
Cause what goes around comes back around  
I'm movin a little closer to her  
She's trippin over the furniture  
She said wait first, just let me explain  
I said no need to, just give me his name  
And then she said uh...uh  
I say uh what  
She said please sit down in a chair  
And I say no, I'm standin up  
And she cries out I'm so scared to tell you because of what ya might do  
And I screamed look girl you better give me this man's name and I'm not playin wit you  
She says okay, wipes her nose and asks me about a girl named Tenten  
I thought to myself, said it sound familiar  
I said I probably know her if I seen her  
Then I say anyway girl, what the hell does that got to do with this man  
She said he know my girl Hanabi I said who the hell is Hanabi  
Then she says Hanabi's a friend of mine who know with this guy named Neji  
Neji's cool wit this guy name Sasuke  
And I'm sittin here like what the fuck  
Then she says Sasuke's wife, Ino  
We both went to high school  
She introduced me to  
The policeman that stopped you..._

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_**I hope you guys liked it!!!!! If you haven't saw R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet, see it! Then, you'll understand. If I get 10 reviews I'll continue from chapter six all the way up, so get ta reviewing!! D**_

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